Angie is a work at home mom to 5. She runs 
Suzi is a work at home mom of three children. Formerly a Public Information Director for a municipal government, she quit her job to move to the country and raise her children with her husband, Steve. Suzi runs two online businesses— 
Robin is a born again Christian who loves the Lord with all of her being. She has been happily married to Tony since 1996 and a mom to Rebecca(12) and to Tami and Timothy who are waiting on us in Heaven. We are active in church and love to serve the Lord. She currently works part time at my folks home doing call center work. You can find her blog 
Kimberly recently graduated with her degree in Early Childhood Education. She is currently a housewife looking for a job. Kimberly and her husband, Aaron, have been marreid for a little over a year and a half and have been together since 2003. We have grown a lot individually and together over the years. Currently, we have not found a church that we can call our own. We travel a lot on weekends so that we can see our families and will attend chuch with them when we visit.
It's been hard to get back on track here after dealing with the kids being sick, but I swore I was going to stick with this, so here's to making a concerted effort to stay on task!
I have been dealing with PMDD for the past couple of days and have really noticed a drastic change in my behavior, especially my irritability. My fuse has been pretty short and I have been pretty rough on the kids and I even have snapped at Steve a couple times. I think he is especially disappointed--he's been enjoying having the kinder, gentler Suzi around.
An example of my stellar behavior happened this morning when I was packing lunch for the kids. I made the mistake of asking them what they wanted. Well, Max was saying "cheesy puffs," so I thought he meant cheese puffs. I grabbed the bag of organic Cheetos and he just screamed, "No!" So, then I got Cheetos crunchy and he screamed, "No!" again. I just kept yelling at him, "What do you want? What do you want?" and he was crying and saying, "Cheesy puffs." I took the bag of Cheetos and threw them on the counter and they bounced right off and hit Sophie on the head. I finally got it out of him that he wanted that nasty Puff 'n Corn, but not without a lot of tears and screaming. What a jerk I was. I think I need to revisit some of the earlier challenges.
This isn't even what I set out to write when I sat down at the computer, but there it is. I guess I view this as my Confessional where I'm truly held accountable for my actions...so, back to the topic at hand. If love is unconditional, then I guess I should not place conditions on my behavior just because I may not be feeling 100 percent. For example, I will be kind and loving unless I am premenstrual, in which event, anything goes.
Pretty crappy logic.
I am lucky that the kids are too young to place conditions on their love for me or I fear I would have lost them by now. If I continue down this path, they are going to learn these behaviors and I don't want that for them. I want theirs to be a happy, loving, innocent existence for as long as possible. I've got to step it up here and get back on track for the sake of my kids, as well as my husband.
So as my friend, Angie, did recently, I am declaring a do over. Tomorrow I will do something special for everyone in the family--something that shows them I love them just because and not unless...
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
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1 comments:
Suzi, I really, really think that we were sisters separated at birth. We have been dealing with sickness around here, too, and ever since I was hit with the flu, I just can't seem to get my act together. I yell all the time, and I'm right back where I was when the challenge first started. I haven't even done the challenge in days, simply because I've been dealing with so much.
I'm going to get back into it. Starting today, as soon as hubby wakes up. I will pick up where I left off and I will finish what I have started. I must.
Sending hugs to you. I haven't struggled with PMDD, but I am dealing with a very bad case of PPD. I know just how you feel. We'll get through this, and we'll be here to support each other!!
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